Finding The Right Adoptive Family For My Child

Blog_ How do I find the right adoptive family for my child_
Kathryn Russell
Kathryn Russell

LMSW, Director of Absolute Love Adoptions

Blog_ How do I find the right adoptive family for my child_

“Adoption is the most intentional process on Earth.” — Jody Cantrell Dyer

If you’ve found yourself reading this, you may be in the midst of deciding what to do about a pregnancy that was unintended, or unexpected.

While adoption is always an option, planning for the adoption of your child is not necessarily an experience anyone wants to have. It is sad. It requires tolerance for pain and perseverance through hard things. You probably doubt that you have the personality/strength/guts to make this impossible choice.

I assure you, if it is the right choice for you and your child, the courage is within you. Trust yourself.

While I can’t completely alleviate the heaviness of these circumstances, I can offer you some insight into how you might go about choosing a family, should you decide on adoption. In doing so, perhaps you’ll find some clarity about what to do for yourself and your child.

Any family that is awaiting placement has what we call a Profile Book. A hopeful family takes great care in creating a photo book for you to look at that highlights their defining characteristics, lifestyle and values so that you can get a sense of whether they’re the right people to raise your child. You review as many of these books as you want to until you find “the one”. Your Absolute Love Adoption Specialist will be with you as much, or as little, as you need as you look through profiles and work to find the family you desire for you and your baby.

In seeing potential families and then choosing the right one, a mother can begin to visualize the life her child may have, a step that makes the process start to feel “real” and for some, restores hope to a sometimes hopeless time in life.

Rest assured that all of our families are truly good people and will meet even the highest standards of the wonderful women who choose Absolute Love to help them plan an adoption.

We have strict qualifications for our hopeful adoptive families as they work through our Home Study process before being approved to adopt. Our Adoption Specialists inspect their home for safety and ensure that they have stable homes in good communities. We obtain references from friends, employers and family members, medical statements from their Dr’s, financial records, clearances to ensure they have no criminal records and much, MUCH more. Most importantly perhaps, they are all required to take training about adoption so that they are prepared to raise an adopted child to know and love their adoption story.

When searching for a family, you can specify characteristics you are looking for, and we do our absolute best to find them for you. Some preferences to consider are:

Distance: Would you be comfortable with your child living in the same town as you? Or another state, possibly one that requires a plane ride?

Family Structure: Will your child have siblings? Will they be the only child? Does birth order matter? Are you open to a nontraditional family? Would your child being raised by a single parent or a same-sex couple be comfortable for you? Do both parents work or is one a stay at home mom? Do they homeschool? How long have they been married? How old are they? Do they have pets?

Race: Do you feel the best family for your child is one that mirrors them racially? If not, does their ability to provide racial mirrors in their social circle and community feel important? How would you feel about your child being raised with parents of a different race? What if those parents had other children that were racial mirrors for your child?

Religion: Do you want your child to be raised in a family with active religious involvement? Do you want them to be raised with a specific set of faith based beliefs?

Openness: What does lifelong access to your child look like, and them to you? In what way are you communicating with them/their family? How often? Are you visiting?

Don’t be discouraged if you haven’t really considered the items on the list. If you consider the list and ultimately feel like the most important thing is the connection, or that they’re good people, or maybe *the thing* for you isn’t something that can be put on a checklist.

Consider reflecting on your own values and desires for this process and writing them down. What morals and values is it important that your child see reflected in the home they grow up in? The answers here will help guide you in your search for a family.

Absolute Love Adoptions works to know our clients deeply, both expectant parents and adoptive parents. We promise that regardless of what you are looking for in a family for your child, we are certain they exist and we are here to help you find them.

If you are ready to consider an adoptive family for your child, please contact us. We are grateful to you for choosing Absolute Love Adoptions to provide you with the resources to create the type of adoption you are intending for your child.

Our available Absolute Love families can be found here. We choose to work with only a few approved families at a time to ensure the highest quality service to them, and to you. At any given time we have additional families who are in the process of being approved and are not yet on the website, and can be considered once they’re approved.

Still don’t see the family you are looking for? We have a network of connections that allow us to find the family you are looking for, and we’d be honored if you’d allow us to help you.

For more information about our available families, or to speak with an Adoption Specialist, contact us here:

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