CONSIDERING ADOPTION
Reasons Women Choose Adoption
- Unemployment, limited income, significant debt, minimal or no support from family
- Feeling too young or too old to parent
- Lack of a support system, father not supportive
- No housing, or unstable living situation
- Substance use, incarceration, high-risk lifestyles
- Illness in the mother or the unborn baby
- Unstable mental health
- Domestic violence or rape
- Parenting other children
- Prioritizing career or educational goals
- Not having a desire to be a parent
- ….and many more!
Options Counseling
Our team is committed to provide neutral, nondirective counseling so that a mother considering adoption can thoroughly assess her motivations for considering adoption, problem solve, connect with resources and ultimately decide whether parenting or placement is right for her and her child.
Options Counseling is intended to help an expectant mother in feeling safe, stable and understood so that she can make an informed choice regarding parenting or placement for her child.
Should an expectant mom wish to make an adoption plan for her child, the Absolute Love team connects her to counseling, a birth support doula, an attorney and the family she envisions for her child. We support the entire placement process as well as any post placement support she wants.
We believe in honesty, choice, privacy, and dignity.
Birth Parent Stories
Perhaps the most useful information at this point is connecting to other women who considered adoption and chose to parent or who chose adoption. We host a podcast sharing birth parent stories. Remember that every experience is unique. If you would like to connect with a Birth Parent featured on our podcast, let us know.
Our Birth Mom episodes are Mallory, Leah, Lauren G, Nicole, Kristin, Courtney, Jess and Michelle
Choosing A Family For Your Child
Some women consider adoption the entire pregnancy, others call us from the hospital after baby is born. No matter where you are in pregnancy, we can help get you the information and support you need. In finding a family for your child, Absolute Love asks you what the important characteristics are in a family you envision for your child. No request is too great, and we have a vast network to search to find THE family you are seeking.Our featured family profiles are available by clicking the “Find A Family” button below. While you may find a good fit, and think adoption is best for you, nothing is “final” regarding an adoption until consent paperwork is signed by you after the birth of your child. You can assert your right to parent anytime during our support process and before consents are signed. You never have financial obligations to an agency or a prospective adoptive parent/s in this process. Should you ultimately decide to parent, we can connect you to resources to ensure your set up for success in parenting.
FIND A FAMILY FOR MY BABY
There are literally hundreds of individuals or couples out in the world who have completed the intensive process of being Home Study approved.
As the expectant parent, you tell Absolute Love who you are seeking. Based on your request, we pull as many profiles as you need. A profile is a brief photo synopsis of who a family is. After finding someone you are interested in, we support you in an introductory video call to get to know them. If the vibe is there, you can continue building a relationship with them. If they aren’t connecting with you, then we go back to the profile books and do this process until we find the one that feels right.
Some considerations in finding a family for your baby are:
- age
- location
- race
- single person or a couple
- same sex couple or man/woman
- other children (biological or adopted)
- religion
- openness to a relationship with birth family
- interests….
- and more!
Visit our blog to get some perspective on who you are looking for,
and know that we will view as many family profiles as it takes to find the right fit for you!
If you need some guidance in this process of finding a family, connect with us!
WAITING PARENT PROFILES
All of our waiting families are:
- Home Study Approved
- Financially Stable
- Have current clearances
- Successful Careers
- Stable homes
- Safe homes and neighborhoods
- Examined by a physician, healthy mentally and physically
- Educated on the nuances of raising an adopted child
If you are considering adoption and see a family here that you would like to connect with, let our team know by using the contact form below.
Tasha & Randy
EXPECTANT PARENT SERVICES
- First things first, let’s get to know one another. An Adoption Specialist will meet you in a place where you are most comfortable. We’ll spend time learning about what your hopes and fears are related to this pregnancy.
- We will help connect you to a counselor/therapist, and pay for it if your insurance does not cover. The adoption choice has lifelong implications and we want you to have the professional support available to ensure you are making the most informed decision
- After learning what your requests are, we find you a family for your child. We help you to build that relationship through whatever avenue feels most comfortable: written, phone calls or in person meetings. We then help establish a post placement plan for how often and in what way you’ll stay connected to your child and their chosen family.
- During your labor and delivery, we can be there with you if you’d like. We can also arrange for you to have a Doula for delivery. When you are ready, but no sooner than 72 hours after delivery, we will start to talk about paperwork that will initiate the legal process of adoption for your child.
- When you return home from the hospital, and the baby goes home with the family you’ve chosen. Your Adoption Specialist will continue offering visits with you as you need, and we connect you to post placement support outside of the agency.
- We are also available to facilitate post placement communication and visitation, depending on the specifics of your post placement agreement with the chosen family.
Expectant Parent Frequently Asked Questions
Absolutely. You are in complete control of how adoption looks for you and your child. You are not giving away your baby or abandoning them. With Foster Care, the child welfare system is deciding who parents your child and how you can stay connected, if at all. Adoption is a well thought out, planned choice and process that is motivated by love and care.
An expectant parent talks with the Adoption Specialist about the things that are important to them regarding the family they’d like for their child. Some expectant parents request the agency to pick a family, and want very little involvement. Others identify the race, family composition, religion, hobbies, or other characteristics of their desired family. We will work together to meet your needs regarding the things you feel are important. We then support you through interviewing selected families so that you can see who you share a good vibe with and ultimately want to match. A “match” is a noncommittal to the family and to adoption, but it verbally identifies this family as the choice, should you ultimately choose adoption. If the family of your dreams is not available through Absolute Love, we use a large network of connections throughout the country to find the right fit for you.
You communicate your desires for the potential adoptive parent(s). There is a Home Study approved family that is open to parenting your child regardless of anything you tell us about your lifestyle, your medical history, or anything else.
We have several approved families within the agency to offer you. If you don’t find the family you are looking for there, you are certainly not limited to those families. We have a wonderful network of professionals who have hundreds of approved families available to you. At your request, we will search far and wide to find them.
Visit our blog HERE for info on how to choose a family.
Yes! If you’d like to talk to the family beforehand, meet them, include them at the delivery, spend time with them, etc, that is up to you. You tell us what amount of contact you want with the family and how you would like each step to look. You can change your wishes as you move through this process, and nothing is final until you sign consents.
Our job is to help him understand adoption and involve him in this decision, if possible. There are often situations where the birth father is unknown, or it’s complicated, and that is why we have an attorney help us navigate his rights and protect yours.
This also depends on what is decided in the Post Adoption Contact Agreement and is individualized based on the comfort levels of both families. You can communicate directly to one another and exchange personal information, you can go through the agency who will facilitate this arrangement for you, or you can go through an outside party to communicate. This will be discussed at length and included in your agreement.
You are not required to have your own attorney, but you are encouraged to. The agency covers the cost of any expenses related to your legal counsel. Best practice is that you at least consult with an attorney to know your rights and options, and it should be an attorney separate from the attorney the family is using.
THE ABSOLUTE LOVE PODCAST BIRTH MOM STORIES
Mallory
Mallory placed her son for adoption 8+ years ago through a private domestic agency. She maintains a very open relationship with her son and shares the highs and lows of her placement decision and the aftermath on this episode.
Lauren
Lauren placed her infant son for adoption 18 years ago. She was in the throes of an addiction when finding out she was pregnant. She lost touch with her son years ago, and after doing this interview, was able to reconnect and open a healthy communication between her and her now adult son!
Nicole
Nicole is the birth mother of a now 4 year old daughter. She self-matched without an agency and has an open relationship with her child's family. She views her adoption choice similar to surrogacy and feels great empowerment in choice.
Michelle
Michelle chose adoption for her infant son who is now a college student. She wrote a book about her experiences in unexpected pregnancy and choosing adoption. She now shares their story of reunion and how to better support a woman considering adoption.